This photo reaches out and grabs at you even in thumbnail size. The human element can't be beat for interest, in my opinion.

I'm often left with a picture in which I think to myself "boy I wish I had moved a few feet to the right". Maybe you've thought this because of the wooden structure on the right that doesn't fit the pattern of the wall. Can't cut off the feet, that's for sure. I think a good thing to try would be an attempt to darken the wood through burning or deeper vignetting that what you've already done. I think the picture would accept more vignetting without shouting at you.

The only other thing I'd try is some desaturation of the yellow and maybe some unsharp mask on the subjects' faces (not too much though).

It's a very nice photograph, surely portrays the mood of the night- so tired that you'd nap anywhere. I've been there many times.